Wassup in Philadelphia

Friday, March 22, 2002

How's Philadelphia?
Just like Goldilocks - Philly is just right. New York would have been too big, and Rumpscratch, Arkansas would have been too small - but Philadelphia is a good mix. Different enough to be interesting, but similar enough to feel like home.

How's Honeywell?
I'm busy. I still don't know what I'm doing yet - but I am busy doing it (whatever it is). You'll be pleased to learn I'm past phase 1 (High enthusiasm - low skills), and now somewhere between phase 2 (low enthusiasm, low skills) and phase 3 (low enthusiasm, high skills). Enough said.

But what's the work environment like?
If you've seen the movie Office Space or read Dilbert - you've seen my workplace. Seriously. Not a spoof of my workplace. My actual workplace. Either could have been a documentary.

If you haven't seen Office Space, do yourself a favour and see it on video - or alternately just picture an office full of one-person cubicles stocked with short, bald, white, fat men called "Bill" in short-sleeved white shirts sporting pocket protectors, suspendors and moustaches. These guys think NASA circa 1960's was the height of engineering chic. Average age: 48

So have you been playing any sport?
Which part of the previous question didn't you read? As a result of the morbid state of fitness of the workplace, I have taken up the only "sport" Honeywell plays as a company: golf. (Hey - it could have been worse: Bowling.)

What's wrong with golf?
Nothing if you're an self-serving, ambitious, upper-middle-class, white-collared, corporate-loving, heterosexual, male approaching middle age. (Oh - but I guess that IS me now. Damn!) Although one advantage is: it's hard to foresee a scenario where I could break my shoulder while taking a twelve foot putt on the ninth green.

What are you missing about Australia?
Believe it or not: television - particularly the ABC. American TV is shite, but I guess you already knew that. But at least in Australia you had the four choices of US, British, Australian or "Other" (SBS). Here it is all-American, all the time.

But there's Survivor right?
Oh yeah - Survivor. US Survivor is good. Really good. Apparently Aussie Survivor is somewhere between "not-as-good" and "dreadful". Well it's channel nine's own stupid fault. I sent them my audition tape, they rejected me, and now they must face the wrath of the viewing public. It's as simple as that.

More to come . . .

posted by Phil Willis 11:09 AM